Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Thank God for broken hearts....

I thank God for growth.

Ya see, I was always the girl who cried over the ex-boyfriend a little too long. I would break up with my boyfriend and the world would literally end all around me. I remember when I was 19 and found out my boyfriend cheated on me (caught him RED HANDED on the morning of my birthday) I went crazy...


I keyed his truck.

Okay, so I have to admit that while keying his beloved truck felt sooooo good at the time; in hind-sight, it was so stupid and it's actually something that I'm very ashamed of.

For the longest, I went through the "I want to be with him all the damn time" phase. My whole entire day would revolve around the boyfriend. Whatever he wanted me to do, I did. I would ignore my friends and obligations BIG TIME to be with him.

Then there was the "going through the cell-phone" phase.

Sigh, this gets bad....

I had a feeling that my boyfriend was cheating on me so I went through his phone.

Okay, so HE WAS cheating, but that doesn't make what I did okay.

Like I said, I thank God for growth.

Through my broken hearts, I've realized that losing one boyfriend isn't the end of the world. I understand that he doesn't have to be my whole life, and guys actually like it when you got something going for yourself!

Here's another good one: Sometimes, it's best to let God handle the whole cheating thing.

This isn't to say that if you find out that you just be non-responsive; but you don't have to go looking for it. Ask God for undeniable evidence, if it exists and in the event that it doesn't exist, ask God to help you with your insecurities.

As of recent relationships, I've been accused of being too non-responsive and laid back...

Who knew, but THANK GOD FOR GROWTH!!!!


Anonymous said...

Growth is not always welcomed but it always includes a lesson or two: Good to see you can learn from them to reduce the "repeat offender" syndrome.

Sharing one's mistakes is a lesson for others to learn from.

It takes a big person to put themselves (and their mistakes) out there (on the web).

Good read, I'll check back in from time to time to see what you are up to.

HeiressChild said...

Welcome everyone, intriguing topics soon to come!!!

and an intriguing post it is joslyn!

i was chuckling at you being accused of being non-responsive and laid back. when i was checking out one of the online dating sites, i would see men say they wanted a woman with no drama. i didn't know what they meant at first, but i understand now. sometimes being non-responsive and laid back keeps drama away.

i thank God for growth also, though it took me a long time to learn some really valuable lessons. i used to be very vengeful, but now i would never allow that kind of negative energy into my mind or life.

i think my walk with God and learning who i am in Him have really helped me in my personal relationships. i'm not willing to sell myself short now for anyone. hmmmm, maybe that's why i'm still by myself. LOL however, i'd rather be by myself and enjoying life than to be with someone where it's not working out and being miserable.

great first post!

Anonymous said...

thought I would swing by...nice lil read

Andre said...

"God doesn't change the circumstances. He changes our hearts."

Frankly, I'm not suprised that your maiden post (minus your introductory post to the world) was nothing short of a genius revelation.

Over the years, I've discovered that an interesting aspect of living in Christ is that personal growth can happen; even when the rest of the world seems to stand still. The growth part comes in when we're able to produced the fruits of the spirit even as we face the same circumstances time and time again. In your case, your response to sour relationships has changed over time the closer you walk with Christ.

The model that you've pointed out in this post is exactly how our lives in Christ should materialize. As Paul reminds us, the fruits of the spirit should be evident in our day to day; no matter what's going on. To me, there's no better testament to growth than taking a situation that would've caused you to...let's say...key somebody's car a few years ago to saying "Whatever. This isn't in God's will" today.

Congrats, Jos. I'm officially vouching for you.

Joslyn said...

@ Anonymous: Thanks for your encouraging words as you passed through! You're right; I'm GLAD that I'm not a "repeat offender!" Believe me, I thought long and hard before starting this blog but I'm dedicated to doing it the right way: sometimes you just gotta expose yourself! You don't have to be anonymous, you know. You can't click "other" and then type your name or nickname (Or whatever you'd like to be called for the day)in that space. Either way, your comments are appreciated. :)

@ Heiresschild: Welcome, old friend! I feel that through our banter inside of Andre's head, that we already know one another! You're absolutley right about the "no drama" thing. I think the fac that we DON'T get all excited makes us that much more intruiging.... See ya soon!

@ Yazmar: Thanks for stopping by! Interesting pic (?)

@Andre: Awww, anytime a genius like you renders a compliment, it makes a girl feel good. Like you and anonymous stated; growth isn't always welcomed but there's always a lesson. In my circumstance, the lessons that I learned will ultimately help make me a better wife. :)

Diane J. said...

One thing I've learned (although I occasionally have a relapse, also known as SIN!) is to pick my battles. I got response and drama out the wazzoo if the situation warrants it, but I've grown a lot in distinguishing what warrants it and what is only me showing my heinie in a very un-Christlike way.

Some things deserve our righteous indignation (Jesus plaited a whip and threw the moneychangers out of the temple) and Jesus told us to be angry and sin not, although I don't think I've ever managed it.

Vengeance is not generally one of my worst faults, but I have plenty more instead.

Good first post, Joslyn. ;-)

Here's to many more and a long blogging career.



Greeneyes said...

welcome to Blogging , nice to see you !

As I read your post I laughed outloud ,not at your situation ,but how funny in that how two totally different woman so far away ,unknown to each other can share the same type of feelings about MEN!
I think many woman go through the exact thing and act similiar to keying the car etc . as we grow older our growth gets easier (MOST)and we can hope for a great deal of self control, and relax about it all being about THE MAN .

Usually when you got that Gut feeling though ,that he is up to no good , it is on the money and a girl has to know if he is a dirty dog or not !LOL

Great Post , looking forward to reading you , Take care

Joslyn said...

@ Dianne: Thanks for your response. I think that a lot of people need to learn to pick their battles. I know that it's saved me a lot of grief. Just today, someone apologized to me because we went out, and they got frustrated at a situation and acted a little stupid. After apologizing, I let them know that I realized that the way that they were acting wasn't in response to anything that I had done, and that all was forgiven. They were amazed at my response, and I think that it will make them think the next time they wanna act like a baby. :)

@ Greeny: You're right! I believe that God has given women a "6th sense" about these things. Almost 90% of the time, we're right about those cheating men, but, I must admit that sometimes those insecurities get the best of us!

(Even then, we still gotta know the truth for sure!)

Anonymous said...

I have always heard that if you go looking for trouble you'll find it. Keying his truck, "yep" that was childish, and you have just admittted to a crime. If a guy knows that you will do anything for him, "anything", than he'll take advantage of that. I know, I've done it a time or two. Stop looking for a man, let him find you. in the mean time, take this time to make sure that you are the best Joslyn you can be. If a man is looking for a Cadillac he won't go to the Yugo dealer. You know what I mean? if you really trust in God the way you say you do, then wait on Him, and when He sends you the right person, remember to keep the relationship Godly. A true man can and will respect that.
Not every man can be a true Mann!

Joslyn said...

Uh, Anonymous,

Thanks for the advice, but please keep in mind that this post is about lessons learned, not lessons "still learning."

I'm not looking for a man for validation; haven't been for a loooong time. I am working on being the best Joslyn (and doing a damn good job, if I must say so myself)

Uh, about the "admitting the crime" part, he knows, and he's not going to press charges.


Anonymous said...

Hey Jos,

Was reading the last post by anonymous..yep I'm late...but did you catch the last line...

Not every man can be a true Mann?!!

Is this from your/our cousin???
If it is, I think you hurt his feelings LOL :(