Time for a New Change

Hey y'all,


Most people think that I'm pretty smart. Honestly, I sometimes question their judgement. What does it take for a person to change? Most of the epiphanies' in my life happen throughout tragedy. Simply put, I can't remove myself from a bad situation until I hit rock bottom. But, at what point do I say no to a situation before it gets to that boiling point? Meaning, there are a lot of situations that I can foresee the issues, yet; I keep myself in these situations KNOWING that no good can come from them? HOW DO I STOP THE MADNESS?


Am I the only one with this problem?

I haven't gotten much into new year's resolutions because I believe that we outta be accountable for change at the time that we realize change is needed, and that's pretty much year round. If we wait until the beginning of a new year to adapt change, we'll watch our whole lives pass us by, as another year is not promised. That being said, TODAY'S resolution is simple: Foresee change and avoid it. I need your prayers.......

Your thoughts?

Ahhhh Marriage.....

*SIGH*


There's nothing like being in love. Holding hands....kissing......having companionship....and

Marriage

At least we hope, right?

First off, to the Fam: No, I'm not engaged. (smile) This post is actually aabout being single.

But the title is about marriage...

Let me explain.

Ya see, I am enjoying my singleness right now and I thank God for it. I thank God for the wisdom to know that I'm not ready yet. How do I know that, well let's take one of the most popular Biblical stories: The creation of Adam and Eve.

Okay, notice God's order: Adam was on Earth by himself naming everything. Think about how long he was roaming the garden giving things names! The Bible never specifies how long Adam was on the earth by himself, but he was on the earth long enough to figure out that there was no animal or plant or anything that he could relate to. At that time is when God decided to bring Eve into the picture.

So what does this tell me?

God wants me to "handle business" prior to me receiveing a mate. Think about it: God could have easily made Eve two seconds after making Adam and they could've roamed the garden together naming and discovering things.

But He didn't!

When Eve came into the picture, Adam already had a home for her, he knew how to grow things in the garden, he knew where to get water, etc.etc.

How much work do you think Adam would've got dome with "naked Eve" standing around?

If he was like most men, none!!!

God has a divine order for everything, and I DO MEAN EVERYTHING!!!


So, as much as women talk about "meeting the man of your dreams," we should make sure that we're the women of their dreams when we meet them!!!

Take care of business: Have a plan....have your credit in order....be able to bring something to the table prior to getting married...


Just food for thought....your thoughts?

Oh, so there IS such a thing as burning out......

Man, who knew that being an adult was so hard? I recently got a new car (Thank you Jesus!!!) and immediately following my purchase, we received overtime at my job. Overtime at my job is like a rare and precious jewel that only comes around maybe once a year, so when it comes around most people, like myself, jump at the opportunity.

So with a brand new car note at the forefront of my mind, I've been working OT everyday, six days a week, for the past three weeks.

Today, my body litterally gave up on me.

Today, I'm not even able to answer even the most simplest of questions, and I feel nauseous.

Today, I learned a lesson: There is a such thing as burning out...

So tomorrow, my cell phone will be off the entire day, and I'm going to get some much needed R&R.

Now if I can just make it through the next two hours.....

C'mon Jesus.......

Please fix it......

I Was Sinking Deep in Sin.....

I was sinking deep in sin
Far from the peaceful shore
Very deeply stained within
Sinking to rise no more
But the Master of the sea
Heard my despairing cry
From the waters lifted me
Now safe am I

Love lifted me
Love lifted me
When nothing else could help
Love lifted me

Man, my mom taught our Sunday class that song when I was younger and we all memorized it. Amazing how sometimes we learn gospel songs when we're little and they carry little or no meaning until we become older. As I typed the words to this song, my eyes became tearful and my heart full, so much so that I had to take a break and come back to it.


"I was sinking deep in sin"

Funny, when you're growing up, you find yourself saying "I'll never do such-and such" or "You'll never see me in this position in life" Amazing how those "nevers" turn into "I can't believe I did that!"

God is so merciful. When I look at where I should be as opposed to where I am, I realize how blessed I am. When I look at how blessed I am in comparison to others, it makes me feel that much worse regarding my sins.

"Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more"

In a previous post, I wrote about the times that we find ourselves so deep in sin that we are afraid and ashamed to call on God. Although He's already seen every little sin we've made and heard all the sinful thoughts we've had, we still avoid Him. Then we find ourselves in a huge mess and have messed up our relationship with God, and we feel lost and trapped.

"But the Master of the sea heard my despairing cry"

No matter how crazily we mess up, God still wants a relationship with us. He wants us to realize that we need Him. He wants us to humble ourselves and re-define our relationship with Him. We have to understand that while people may not be in the forgiving business, God is.

"From the waters lifted me, now safe am I"

God is in control. He can heal our relationship with Him. He can restore our faith with Him. He can fix the in-fixable. It's an awesome feeling to know that God is carrying you and looking out for you. There's nothing like knowing that you are walking in the will of God and that no matter what things seem like, He's preparing the way for you.

I'm sorry that I've been MIA lately. Been having computer issues and Joslyn issues. :) Thanks so much to those who left posts wondering about me, it means more than you'll know :)

I'm going to try and keep this updated more frequently!!!!

Just a little talk with Jesus....

Hey Friends,

Have you ever gone to Jesus like our good friend, Humpty? After so many times of trying to take your situation in your own hands, you finally crack. Shamed face and a little nervous, you ask God to fix you. Waiting to hear that "I told you so" you lower your head in humbled shame only to realize that the "I told you so" is never said.

Have you ever messed up so bad that you actually AVOIDED praying to God because you just KNEW that you were wrong???

Uh, I've done that.

Actually, I do that a lot!!

When you think about it, it's so stupid! I mean, God saw all the stupid things you did, heard all the stupid things you thought about saying and watched you stray further and further away from Him. Yet, once you realize how stupid you've been, then you decide to ignore Him out of guilt!

The devil is a liar.

I mean, at one point he really had me convinced that there was no point in talking to God about my issues because I was just going to mess up again anyway!

We have to learn to recognize the subtleties of Satan. Seriously. He's a good one cause he tricks me all the time.

Our saving grace in Jesus is that we can come to Him at any time and for any reason. We may still suffer the consequences of our stupid actions, but thank God that it only lasts for a little while, and He restores the joy back in us.

I'm making baby steps in reconciling my relationship with God and let me tell ya, I rest so much easier at night.

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalms 147:3

I am not my hair........or am I?

Look at her, she's beautiful. Her skin? Flawless. Her hair? Full and shiny.
If you could guess her ethnicity, what would you say? African American and Native American? African American and Cuban?

How about none of the above? She's not African American at all.....

She's Ethiopian.

Yup.

Now, this post isn't about how American News media stereotypes how Africans (and Blacks, for that matter) are all the same. Although, believe me, that's something that makes my blood boil and a topic that I'd like to revisit in the future.

This topic is about me.

Ya see, I have extremely thick and very coarse hair. When I was younger, I didn't have a relaxer. Whenever it was time for my mother to do my hair, she's always save me until last because it was so thick and coarse. She'd frown at my hair in disgust whenever it was time to press my hair. Same thing happened whenever I went to the salon. "I'm going to have to charge you extra because your hair is like a jungle!!!"

Oh my God. I have bad hair.


Now, my mom and these hair stylists aren't bad people. They're just unaware of how to take care of Black hair properly. So, with the limited knowledge that they were given, they had to break down my hair with chemicals or pressing combs.
Get this: I used to actually ENVY the girls who could slick their hair back in this little tiny ponytail, and slick their thin edges down so smooth that you could see their scalp. How come my edges never got that smooth?

So when I got to high school I chopped it off. My once past my shoulders hair was now one inch short. Now, salon visits were a breeze and doing my hair in the morning took no time at all.

What's wrong with this picture?

When I got to college, I grew my hair back out. It's been varying between chin length and shoulder length ever since. I realized that if someone didn't like my long thick hair, that it was their problem, not mine. Recently, I visited a salon where a young Dominican woman did my hair for me, and she challenged the way I will think forever by asking me something so simple.

"Why do you wear a relaxer? Your natural texture is so beautiful."

WHAT??????

Ya see, a lot of times we as Black woman are taught that our hair is bad because it doesn't lay down or operate like someone who isn't Black. So we spend all this time putting chemicals, grease, oil, and the biggest no no, direct heat on our heads to achieve the look that we desire.....self included.......
Ya know how Blacks are seemingly the last to know that we should be exercising, that we should be eating right, that we should go to the doctor frequently, that we should be saving money..etc...etc...well, hair care is no different.

There are natural products that will soften the curl pattern in your hair making your hair manageable and healthy. It seems like Birhan Weldu (The young woman pictured above) has that figured out already. How come Cosmetology schools only teach chemical or hair pressing to take care of textured hair?

Why do we hate our natural selves so much?

It's sad that it took a Dominican woman to tell me that my natural hair was beautiful. It's sad that it took a Dominican woman to give me tips to nurse my hair to natural health. It's sad that she could recognize something good about me that I couldn't....

I have good hair.

Your thoughts?

I'm so proud to be his friend.....

Have you ever met someone so amazingly special that you said to yourself, "They still make your kind?" Well, in my life, that's my friend Andre. Ya see, when I got off work this afternoon, I received a text message from a friend stating: "Andre's in the paper for his volunteer efforts in New Orleans!"

Funny, I've talked to Andre almost every single day and he hasn't mentioned a word about it....typical humble Andre!

Well, thank God for online newspapers, because here's his story:

http://www.mlive.com/flint/stories/index.ssf?/base/news-45/118831105574760.xml&coll=5&thispage=1

Let me tell you a little about Andre. When you hear that Black men today "ain't about nothin," Andre's the poster man for hope. He has two degrees, one in MATH (Who, other than my sister, Tiffany, gets a degree in MATH!) and one in accounting, and he's currently working on his MBA. He currently works for University of Michigan-Flint as a Project Manager for the Office of Research. Andre's there when you need him and is always a shoulder to cry on. Andre is probably one of the smartest people I know, yet he doesn't like to talk about his accomplishments....matter of fact, you may have to pry it out of him.

Most importantly: he's incredibly humble. Last year during his spring break, Andre visited New Orleans to help in the rebuilding of houses.

Andre, whether you choose to know it or not, you're TRULY one of the best around.

Now, don't make some cheesy comment, Andre (I.E. "I paid Joslyn to write this") just take the compliments!

We Gotta Pray For One Another

From what I hear, marriage is very hard. From what I hear, being married to a preacher is even harder. I know first hand that the preacher seems to be attacked by Satan harder than anyone else. What better gossip is there than "church gossip?" If you don't know who this couple is, it's Pastor Thomas Weeks and Rev. Juanita Bynum-Weeks. Apparently, this couple have been estranged and decided to meet up to try and resolve some marital issues. What started as them trying to reconcile, ended up being a pretty bad beat down. Here's the source for the full story: http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2007/08/22/bynum_0823.html

Some sources are speculating that he had an "uncomfortably close" relationship with some men in his church, and she obviously took issue with it. This, of course, could just be media speculation. Regardless of whether or not it's the truth, this couple needs prayer.

Ya see, Juanita has always been brutally honest about her past. I can remember watching "No More Sheets" where she talked about her failed marriages, being on welfare, and promiscuity. I can remember when she announced her engagement, and how happy she was that she received her blessing from God. I can remember seeing the lavish wedding on television. (No, the church didn't pay for it: Juanita has several legitimate businesses and has written several books).

But now, here's the attack. When I have had failed relationships, or when couples I know get into fights, it doesn't break into national news. You're able to deal with it "somewhat" privately. Whatever the reason they were fighting, and no matter what the outcome will be; let's pray for our bothers and sisters. Doesn't matter if they're wrong, doesn't matter if they've been living a lie: Let's just pray for them....

Is Michael Vick Worse Than Us????

Okay, so if anyone knows anything about a Libra, you'll know that a Libra generally tries to look at a story from all sides before they come to a conclusion. I'm sure that everyone knows the story about Michael Vick by now, and if you don't, here's a link to the full story. http://www.postchronicle.com/cgi-bin/artman/exec/view.cgi?archive=24&num=92774

Here's what I've been pondering:

Everyone says: "Oh, it's just dog fighting for Christ's sake! It's not that serious! Just another way to keep a good Black man down!"

My take: Do you have any idea what goes on during the breeding process? Let me break it down for you. To breed a certain type of dog, there is actually something called a "rape stand." This stand is used to hold the female dog in place by clamping her head and raising her hind, so that the male dog can impregnate her. Also, once a dog was found to not be aggressive enough, he couldn't just sell the dog, the dog has to die. Not only does the dog have to die, but traditionally it dies in a brutal fashion, by being slammed or shocked or drowned. (Damn, couldn't he just shoot it???)

Yup, there was a rape stand found in Vick's house.

So now you're probably thinking, "Okay, so at least he wasn't killing people! Who cares since no one was hurt!!"

Well, here where it gets tricky..

Ya see, when profiling serial killers, it was found that most serial killers started off torturing animals. So we can't act as if it's no big deal. We have to act on the warning signs....right?
http://www.pet-abuse.com/pages/abuse_connection.php

Okay, so flip the script.

I know many women with fur coats. To make the furs, many of these animals (chinchillas, minks, foxes) have their necks broken or are electrocuted.......but it's legal....
http://www.mercyforanimals.org/fur_farms.asp

Hmmmm, anyone see the correlation here???

If I wear a dead animal, should I be convicted? Are the people who break the necks or do the electrocution of these animals potential serial killers, also? What makes what the fur makers do legal, and what the dog fighting illegal?? Aren't they both used for frivolous reasons?

This is not to excuse Michael Vick from being, what I call, just plain stupid; however, one has to wonder just why he's potentially about to go to prison but the fur makers are walking around.

You're thoughts?

Can't Replace Love.....Can I????

Whew!

It's been a long week! Between getting two blowouts on the freeway on the same day, playing volleyball (my newest love) and catching up at work, I've been busy! As a matter of fact, I think that I've been staying busy on purpose. See, if I'm busy, then I can't notice that my heart is still broken...

This'll work, right????

*Going to sign up for more weekly classes*

Thank God for broken hearts....

I thank God for growth.

Ya see, I was always the girl who cried over the ex-boyfriend a little too long. I would break up with my boyfriend and the world would literally end all around me. I remember when I was 19 and found out my boyfriend cheated on me (caught him RED HANDED on the morning of my birthday) I went crazy...

Seriously...

I keyed his truck.

Okay, so I have to admit that while keying his beloved truck felt sooooo good at the time; in hind-sight, it was so stupid and it's actually something that I'm very ashamed of.

For the longest, I went through the "I want to be with him all the damn time" phase. My whole entire day would revolve around the boyfriend. Whatever he wanted me to do, I did. I would ignore my friends and obligations BIG TIME to be with him.

Then there was the "going through the cell-phone" phase.

Sigh, this gets bad....

I had a feeling that my boyfriend was cheating on me so I went through his phone.

Okay, so HE WAS cheating, but that doesn't make what I did okay.


Like I said, I thank God for growth.

Through my broken hearts, I've realized that losing one boyfriend isn't the end of the world. I understand that he doesn't have to be my whole life, and guys actually like it when you got something going for yourself!

Here's another good one: Sometimes, it's best to let God handle the whole cheating thing.

This isn't to say that if you find out that you just be non-responsive; but you don't have to go looking for it. Ask God for undeniable evidence, if it exists and in the event that it doesn't exist, ask God to help you with your insecurities.

As of recent relationships, I've been accused of being too non-responsive and laid back...



Who knew, but THANK GOD FOR GROWTH!!!!

Whelp, it's all Andre's fault.....

Hola!

Due to the fact that Andre has a blog, I figured that I should start one too, and steal his fan base!

*Grins evily*

Welcome everyone, intriguing topics soon to come!!!